Lindsay Lohan on the Ungaro Paris Runway

Two women on the runway. One is a part-time actress and full-time punchline who was hired as an “artistic advisor” to the renowned French fashion house, Ungaro.  Many of us have been watching Lindsay Lohan’s career descend in a self-inflicted, slo-mo free fall for the past 3 years.

The other striking woman is Spanish designer Estrella Archs. The pinched look on her face confirms her own professional implosion, but compacted over the course of one evening rather than 3 years: the debut of Ungaro’s Fall fashion line, inspired by and co-designed with the star of the critically acclaimed I Know Who Killed Me.

Apparently, the French had merely been taking note of the frequency of Lindsay’s photos being plastered in the US press, rather than reading the actual text to learn why her image is constantly in the tabloids. Even respected Parisian fashion houses can be deaf and dumb to the greater cultural dialogue.

But am I just picking on Lindsay because of her very public troubles? Perhaps her collection presages the arrival of a major new fashion talent. Let’s see…

Lindsay Lohan's Ungaro Collection

Here we have a series of bizarre outfits that Robert Palmer video babes have too much pride to be caught dead in. And then there’s that odd red and white number that’s somewhere between cottony fish scales and a Valentine’s Day date from hell.

But maybe it’s just me. Maybe I simply don’t understand fashion, style or the inimitable genius of a quixotic star.

So here are some selected quotes from smarter fashion minds than myself:

• The London Daily Mail:  “Fashion critics… looked aghast at Lohan’s bra tops and stripper-inspired nipple pasties.”
• LA Times: “Fashion insiders suggesting it was an insult to anyone who had ever really worked in design, it had to have been the walk of shame to end all.”
• NYTimes: “(Lohan’s) arrival was greeted by critics as if a McDonald’s fry cook had been installed as the chef of a three-star Michelin restaurant.”
• WSJ: “Some models appeared on the runway with glittering heart-shaped pasties on their nipples, worn under blazers. Others wore the pasties on their foreheads.”

Yes. Pasties on foreheads. I couldn’t make that up if I tried, and I can’t top that.

But does this mean that celebrities shouldn’t have fashion lines? Certainly not. While there are high-profile failures like this one, there have been many successes: Jessica Simpson is now more admired for her line of shoes than her country warbling, Justin Timberlake has a popular line of high-end jeans, and the Olson Twins remain richer than most people not named Warren Buffet. So there’s definitely room for the intersection of celebrity and style in a way that benefits consumers and fashionistas alike. We will certainly feature many of those examples on our blog, and FashionIndie opines on some of the best celebrity fashion lines out there.

This, however, will not be one of those examples:

Lindsay Lohan's Ungaro Pasties

What are your favorite celebrity fashion lines?